AO: Abduction

When: 02/20/2021


Number of Pax: 14

Pax Names: Baby Ruth, Bunsen, Dingo, Ditka, Flo, Forest Gump, Full House, Ice Man, La Niña, Pick-Up Line, Rainbow Sprinkles, Short Circuit, Tool Time, Tri-Delt,

Number of FNGS: 1

FNG Names: Tool Time

QIC: Short Circuit

The BackBlast:


There’s something about being cooped up last week during the inclement weather that put the desire for fellowship STRONG in the hearts of the PAX; and boy oh boy were they really to unleash hell… or, at least, that’s what YHC thought.

After some EC ruck by the #usualSuspects, and a QSchool led by YHC with La Nina and Tri-Delt, we circled for the Mission, Disclaimer, and welcome while a couple PAX rolled in hot, before heading off for…


  • SSH x 15 (IC)
  • String Rippers x 15 (IC)
  • SSH x 15 (IC)
  • CH Squats x 15 (IC)1
  • SSH x 15 (IC)
  • Mike Tysons x 8 (IC)
  • SSH x 15 (IC)
  • Sequence:
    • Moroccan Night Club x 10 (IC)
    • Sun God Forward x 10 (IC)
    • Chinook Forward x 10 (IC)
    • Chinook Reverse x 10 (IC)
    • Sun God Reverse x 10 (IC)
    • Moroccan Night Club x 10 (IC)
  • Burpees x 5

The Thang:

Part 1 – “It’s really simple”

Three points of a triangle. Really simple. Start at point A and do 8 Merkins, mosey to point B and do 12 Squats. SPRINT to point C, then mosey back to A. Rinse and Repeat.2

Part 2 – Timer Shenanigans

Tabata-style workout3. 40 seconds worth of work. 20 seconds worth of rest. Did two cycles of five exercises repeated, for a total of 10 minutes. The five exercises were:

  • Squat and Kick
  • Speed Skaters4
  • High Knees -> Butt Kicks
  • Mike Tysons
  • Burpees

By this point, all PAX were sufficiently gassed, and steaming in the early morning sun. We made a short5 jaunt for…


  • 6″ Spiderman x 10 (IC)
  • LBC x 15 (IC)
  • LSF x 20

At this point, a friendly – bringing her children to the park to use the bathroom – was greeted by Tri-Delt with a “good morning”, to which she responded with an enthusiastic “good morning” back, earning…

  • 5 Burpees6
  • Unicycle x 10 (IC)
  • American Hammer x 20 (IC)


  • Welcome Tool Time (FNG Gerry Lautenschlager)! It was great getting a chance to meet you and talk with you. We’re better because men like yourself keep coming out. I know you were only in town for a short trip to see Flo, but we really enjoyed having you. Look F3 up when you get back home.
  • The Murph – March 1st at Trautman Park; 0530.
  • F3 Fort Collins Gear is available. Get it now while it’s hot.
  • March Monthly Challenge is coming soon.
  • March is Mental Health Awareness month; be willing to have some uncomfortable conversations in March.
  • RANDO 02-21 is live; check Slack for details.
  • March Rucking Challenge is coming up soon. Check the #Rucking channel on Slack for details.
  • F3 Fort Collins Sock Hop! – March 20th; wear your best pair of socks to the beatdown, and while you’re at it, pick up 2-3 extra pairs of normal socks (adult and kid-sizes). All donations will be dropped off at the Fort Collins Rescue Mission.
  • #TAP for Gump’s Parents who have COVID.
  • #TAP for Ditka’s SiL who had a seizure.

The Mumblechatter was strong, the coffee post-workout was excellent. YHC could not have asked for a better morning. It was an honor and a privilege to lead you men.

Naked Man Moleskin:

  1. Bunsen – I swear man, I’m not being cheeky. Check your form. You never break 90. Promise. 😉
  2. The MumbleChatter died almost immediately during this routine. And the Sprint+Mosey combination turned into a Mosey+Walk routine.
  3. Since Ditka couldn’t get enough last week.
  4. Flo was raised for this; Tool Time confirmed.
  5. Literally, like, 10 feet.
  6. I keep telling the PAX to stop talking to strangers, but no one listens. I can’t help but think that, perhaps, deep down the PAX (gasp!) enjoy doing those burpees. Sick.