AO: Abduction

When: 05/30/2020


Number of Pax: 8

Pax Names: Ditka, Ellie Mae, Forest Gump, Go Blue!, Googan, Helen, Paul Blart, Short Circuit,

Number of FNGS: 1

FNG Names: Forrest Gump

QIC: Short Circuit

The BackBlast:


YHC was looking forward to leading and serving at Abduction, with an opportunity to present both a customized coupon as well as new #shovelFlag for Abduction’s newest Site Q: Ditka.  With my cheeky shenanigans in play, the day’s workout coupons were setup for The Thang, a light stretch was had with Ellie Mae (along with some discussion of a missing Weinke).  Once the disclaimer was disclaimed, our FNG was present and accounted for, and the PAX were ready to roll (along with Helen’s #hound Milo), we ran around the park for…


  • SSH x 20 (IC)
  • CH Squats x 15 (IC)
  • Sun Gods x 10 (IC; wind/unwind)
  • Chinooks x 10 (IC)
  • CH Merkins x 15 (IC)
  • Peter Parkers x 10 (IC)
  • String Rippers x 15 (IC)
  • Monkey Humpers x 15 (IC)

The Thang:

The Thang was broken into two parts (each more horrible than the next)…

Part 1 – Burpee Broad Jump

PAX were instructed to Burpee Broad Jump the entire length of a field of grass, and back.  Many noises* were heard; not all of them pleasant.

Part 2 – The Four Horsemen

Four stations, each with an exercise followed by burpees (the number of which is based on the round you’re on – first round one burpee, second round two burpees, etc.)

  • Station 1 – 15 Merkins
  • Station 2 – 25 Squats
  • Station 3 – 25 Carolina Dry Docks
  • Station 4 – 20 BBSU

Everyone made it through three rounds before YHC called for an “Omaha!” to pick up the six, and do one last round with all PAX together**, before ending with five burpees.  This whole time, Milo (Helen’s #hound) was an excellent bystander, being leashed to the Fire Hydrant***

To top off The Thang, the PAX paired up and did three rounds of hill sprints toward the high school as a form of encouragement and motivation (#crowdPleaser), before running back to the #shovelFlag for…


  • Plank (60 ct.)
  • Crunchy Frogs x 15 (IC)
  • Plank (90 ct.)
  • LBC x 25 (IC)
  • American Hammer x 15 (IC)


  • Welcome to Forrest Gump (FNG Jac Crenshaw); it was great connecting with you during the workout and after for coffee; we’re better because you’re with us, and hopefully you’re better because we’re here with you…
  • Continued thoughts and prayers for Go Blue! and family – his daughter Ella should be coming home (hopefully) this week.  Check the Slack Channel for a 3rd F opportunity to make a meal for him and his M during this time.
  • It was great to be able to hand off a newly formed #shovelFlag and personalized coupon to Ditka for stepping in to lead Abduction.  Looking forward to seeing your leadership on display at our #mothership brother…

Naked Man Moleskin:

  • * Most of these noises were from Googan, unleashing some of his best Midwife Noises upon the PAX.  YHC had a hard time getting through this part of the workout due to involuntary laughter.  Way to keep us chuckling Googan.
  • ** Again, Googan demonstrating his grunty noises whilst keeping count; #topShelf
  • *** A local friendly may have argued that Milo wasn’t “comfortable” being tangled up in his leash on the fire hydrant.

It was an honor and a privilege to lead you men at Abduction.  Aye!


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